Why I Chose My New Years Resolution

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At the start of each year, like many others, I make a New Years Resolution. And, like many others, I have often failed to maintain the New Years Resolutions that I have made… and not intentionally, but simply because we are all creatures of habit and it is often very difficult to break ourselves of the habits we have.

A few years ago, I decided that I would only make resolutions that I could be truly uphold…. and since my list of resolutions has turned into very simple goals that I have for myself. Often times, my resolution is singular and something that I keep in mind as I continue throughout my year.

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This year, my resolution was singular. My resolution, “Say less.” It sounds so simple, and I wanted my resolution to be one that I could repeat quickly to myself to remind myself of throughout the year. Despite the simplicity, it has multiple implications and reasons for being my resolution this year.

I made it after seeing, hearing, and participating in this flurry of commenting that we have become so accustomed to today. In my experience, it is so easy to just speak without thinking and to continue to speak even when it is not my turn anymore. Last year, I found myself speaking when it was my turn to listen…. and I found myself saying things I inevitably regretted because I did not think them through.

So, after some introspection, my resolution was to simply “Say Less.” Because by saying less, I have more time for thoughtful comments and conversations. By saying less, I have more time to listen and hear what is happening around me.

We are one month into 2018, and I have to say I think I have chosen a worthy resolution. It is simple, and it is challenging too. I went to dinner this weekend with friends, and where I would normally jump into the spirited discussions about politics with my friends…. this time I listened. And, I was surprised and happy to find myself learning so much about my friends.

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January 2018 has been a wonderful month for me, and I hope that January has been equally if not more lovely for you.

Tell me in the comments what you think of my resolution! And, tell me yours!

Thank you so much for visiting!

-Heidi

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17 Things I Learned in 2017

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I can honestly say that the last 6 years of my life have been some of the most challenging years of my entire life. One of the main reasons I started blogging again in 2017 was to help myself focus on all the good in my life. I’m still working on the person I want to be, and I have a very long way to go. 2017 was a year of growing pains, and I wanted to share some of the things that I have learned over the last year.

One: It is okay if things do not go according to plan

I have always been a planner, and I consider one of my greatest strengths to be my decisive decision making skills. However, when things hit the fan, you have to adapt and change course to account for life. I have finally learned that sometimes you have to roll with the punches, and it is okay if things get delayed because sometimes something even more amazing happens.

Two: Don’t over-schedule

Part of being someone who loves plans is that I like to stick to the schedule, the plan, the itinerary. In fact, I’m often downright militant about the plan. I have learned that sometimes loosening my grip on my schedule and being more generous with timing is okay. It allows for more happy moments, and being a little bit more relaxed has not hurt me at all!

Three: Make your own happiness

Happiness is not something that simply appears – happiness is something you create for yourself. And let me tell you – creating happiness is hard work.

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Four: Work hard, and then work even harder

There is absolutely no substitute for hard work. My mother always says that underneath “lucky” is hard work…. Someone might appear lucky and happy, but the reality is that they work that hard to be in that “lucky” universe.

Five: Live Unapologetically 

Never apologize for your accomplishments. I used to downplay how hard I worked. This year I realized it wasn’t humble but a huge disservice to my hard work. There is nothing wrong with getting credit for the hard work you’ve actually done.

Six: Friendships Evolve

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Seven: Give yourself credit even when things go wrong

A few very important projects went incredibly sideways for me… and the feeling of anger, frustration, and failure stuck with me. It wasn’t until I gave myself credit for trying that I could put those feelings to bed. I did my very best at the time, and that is all that matters.

Eight: Have feelings, cry if you want to

As a child and a young adult, I was the absolute picture of sunshine. And because I had always been happy – I did not understand that I didn’t have to live up what people thought I should be like. It took me a long time to accept that I am allowed to have more than one feeling. I am allowed to be angry, sad, and every color in between…. and most surprisingly? It’s okay to cry.

NineBe your own advocate

I graduated from law school where we learn to advocate for our clients. Our job is to be the absolute best advocate for our clients…. and it still took me years to realize that I have to also be my own advocate. Stand up for what you need, deserve, and know is right. Be strong. Advocate for yourself.

Ten: Speak positively 

“It takes exactly the same energy to say something positive as it does to say something negative or nothing at all.” I wrote that in my journal when I was 16, and I read it again this year and renewed my dedication to that lesson. We all have light and dark inside of us, and I refuse to feed the darkness. It is so easy for us to fall into the dark and cruel commenting with social media, but I refuse to falter. Instead, I have and will continue to channel that energy into good deeds and good words. Be the light.

Eleven: Don’t do things at the expense of your happiness

Your happiness should be your priority…. do not do things that you know steal your happiness.

Twelve: Let go of the friends that hold you back

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Thirteen: Forgive yourself

Forgive yourself. I was angry with myself for a long time…. and I realize those “mistakes” I made were just part of life. My friend told me that those mistakes made me stronger and more interesting and I was finally able to forgive myself.

Fourteen: Forgive those who have hurt you and ask for forgiveness from those you’ve hurt

After struggling through the last few years, I realized that the people who have hurt me must have been suffering too. At the height of my struggle, I could not control my anger and I lashed out at everyone. And, I realized in those angry moments that the people who had hurt me must have been in pain too. In this realization, I asked for forgiveness for those who I had hurt too.

Fifteen: Say NO without apology or excuses

This one I learned from my baby cousin…. she was 3 when I first heard her respond to a question about trying a new toy. “No. Thank. You.” And when asked why? She said, “No. Thank. You.” There is absolutely nothing wrong with saying no when you do not want to do something. You do not need an excuse or an apology. “No, thank you.”

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Sixteen: Take time by yourself

Take time for yourself where there are no interruptions, and you can recharge your batteries. I’ve learned that I need a certain amount of alone time – and it is okay to walk away from social engagements to maintain my balance.

Seventeen: Explore more 

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Thank you so much for visiting! Tell me in the comments what your new years resolutions are, and things you’ve learned this year! ❤ Wishing you the most wonderful 2018!

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Flamingos and Clovers – Pattern Play

I hesitated to post this outfit because I wasn’t able to find dupes for elements on this outfit. And, I think that’s kind of annoying when I see something beautiful on someone’s blog and I can’t buy it. But, the driving force behind sharing parts of my life with you isn’t to tell you to go out and buy things… instead it’s to just share with you the things that make me happy. The things here on Heidi Happily are about the things that I like and the things that bring a smile to my face. I hope that I can bring a little something pretty to your screen every so often, I hope I can bring a smile to your face, and I hope that I can inspire you to fall in love with everything around you.

So, despite the pressures to be “flawless” in social media and to have the latest and greatest – I pledge that this is a space where I focus on inspiration… and things won’t be flawless. So, when I share older clothing or unflattering photos or something isn’t perfect – I hope it inspires you to embrace life because it isn’t perfect, but it is pretty awesome.

Now, onto the outfit. I know you can’t purchase many of these elements anymore, but I hope this mix of older elements inspires you to pull things from your own closet and play with mixing new and old elements into something amazing and uniquely you.

SONY DSCSONY DSCTop: JCrew (last year’s collection, but this T is cute!)
Skirt: French Connection (old, but like this)
Petticoat: All Saints (check etsy for cute ones!)
Shoes: Coach (probably 10 years old, but very similar color here and like the bright colors here)
Belt: JCrew (old, but really crushing on this one)

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(Caption this photo contest in the comments! I say my dog is thinking “what the beep is mom doing in the woods… in heels…. in that outfit…..“)

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Thank you so much for visiting! (Looking forward to seeing what your creative captions are for my dog’s face in these photos in the comments!)